You lazy bum!
Key Takeaways:
Laziness is a myth
Your relationship to being lazy was most likely developed subconsciously (parent figures, society, etc.)
Addressing what’s actually going on when you procrastinate (i.e. mental and emotional clutter!) is a much more successful strategy than blaming it on a laziness/willpower problem.
Now that the whole phase of setting and forgetting new year’s resolutions has passed, here’s something that will feel so good! It’s something for which to let go instead of add on.
What is your relationship to the word Lazy?
Pause for a moment to ponder this question. Close your eyes, and say “I’m lazy.” Then notice. What happens inside yourself? What comes up?
Do specific thoughts, feelings, sensations, or even memories come up?
Do you believe this statement is true?
Articulate them in whole sentences to yourself or write it down.
Some people have negative reactions. I certainly used to, but now I don’t really have any “reaction” at all. I know that whenever I’m “acting lazy” something else is really what’s going on. After un-learning this myth of laziness, I’m now empowered to examine my resistance and make constructive choices from there.
The issue here is if you actually believe you are lazy. If you’ve spent year after year like I did going through cycles of shame or frustration about productivity, you’re not alone and it’s a nasty form of self-sabotage. Laziness is a myth. Furthermore, labeling your situation as one of laziness is not that helpful in moving onward and upward.
How we got to believe in ‘laziness’ is nothing more than a ruse of socioeconomic systems, like colonialism and capitalism. Of course we will go through times where we need to be completely unproductive, but that’s because we’re not machines. Since the Industrial Revolution we saw - and still see today - people believing they act like machines - machines that should be able to work ~10 hours a day 6 days a week. Now it’s 8 hours 5 days a week. Before that, “laziness” was a justification for slavery and colonization. These thought leaders actually repeatedly used laziness to justify exploiting people. The connection may not be so obvious, but this is precisely where and why we have our mainstream belief about laziness today. Currently, the dominating belief system around laziness has improved, but it’s still alive and still propagating self-hate.
“I didn’t accomplish anything this weekend. How lazy.” “I’ve been trying to consistently exercise this whole year, and failed. It’s because I was lazy.”
If you have thoughts along the same lines as above, where did they come from? Your parents? Society? You certainly weren’t born believing you’re lazy - that anything you chose to do would be labeled as “lazy.” A good place to start inquiring into this is your parents’ beliefs. They are just one cog in the wheel of this globally pervasive belief system, but it’s a great place to start getting clear on what you believe - consciously and subconsciously.
Once you’ve articulated their belief system then you can consciously choose if you agree with these beliefs, or if you want to choose your own belief system.
“Ok, if it’s not laziness, then why do I procrastinate? Then why don't I do the things I want to do?”
Rather than going through the same old shame cycles we all know too well, once I got onboard with how I’m not “lazy,” I could open up and see what was actually happening. For me, a huge part of it was grief. I never learned how to grieve; and I had a lot of loss from my past that needed to be addressed if I ever wanted to get anywhere. Framing all this as grief instead of just laziness gave me concrete choices on how to proceed. The impact of loss remains as mental-emotional clutter, affecting your thoughts, actions and behavior, until you regenerate through grieving.
“Our culture puts a premium on productivity and hard work. The reality is that everyone needs time to relax and regenerate,” explains Laura D. Miller, LCSW.
To grasp what was really going on with myself was liberating. You may be surprised at how much you operate from this misguided belief system. Unfortunately, the reason so many of us don’t accomplish weekend goals and regularly exercise has NOTHING to do with laziness. The reason is something else.
If we want to stop procrastinating on something in our lives, we have to face the truth. We must get curious and inquire about our resistance. The truth is not this convenient concept of “laziness.” These days we do have a solid idea of what is going on. The 7 reasons why we are “being lazy” that Dr. Miller lists in her article is a much more coherent place to start. I would add to the list both burn-out and grief. It may not be as easy as dismissing our challenges to laziness, but addressing the real problem means we have a way to move onward and upward from it. We have a way to leave behind those procrastination-shame cycles and socioeconomic thought systems we never consciously chose in the first place.
So give yourself permission to let go of whatever beliefs you inherited from your formative years about being “lazy.” Let that false, limiting belief go! See how space opens up for something new.
I’ll end with suggesting 3 new thoughts, to say to yourself when you notice these habitual thoughts of laziness ensuing in your mind. Replace them with a better thought, such as:
When I allow all the rest I want, I always end up happier, healthier, and more productive.
Choosing to be non-productive right now is a radical act of self-love, and that means I’m a badass.
My life is a continual ebb and flow of rest and productivity, and I trust myself over anyone else that however much of either I need is the right amount.
References:
The Right to Be Lazy (French: Le Droit à la paresse) is a book by Paul Lafargue,
Lost Connections, Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions By: Johann Hari
